Weeks back there was lots of ruckus from the social media space following an interview with Ghanaian’s model and actress Moesha Bodung by popular CNN host Christiane Amanpour.
In a short chat with Amanpour, the Ghanaian actress shared her opinion on relationships and expectations. She made it clear that a man should be able to take care of her financial needs in return for his sexual needs since the man has the spending power as opposed to the woman who might not make as much.
This, of course, didn’t go down well with a lot of people who in turn attacked and berated the lady in question. It is vital to also point out that some other people embraced her opinion as the reality we have found ourselves while admonishing people not to be hypocritical with their judgements.
Not to dwell on this occurrence, the question remains; are there relationships that are not transactional? When we love and dedicate our time to someone special or not so special, we all feel some sense of entitlement. Don’t we?
This entitlement could come in various ways: financial, emotional, intellectual, professional, social and more. We all expect something in return from a goodwill either tangible or not. It is one of humanity’s flaws.
An example is a boss to a subordinate relationship. You won’t deny the fact that at some point, you have grumbled about running some kind of errands for your boss but you just do it anyway, you wouldn’t definitely like to be in his bad books. Your boss also in return, would feel slighted if you declined, although it isn’t particularly part of your job. The working relationship over time automatically transforms into more demand out of the scope of your job. The boss expects more because you report to him.
Your girlfriend borrows your shoes and bags often. You definitely would feel the need to also make certain demands from her after all you’ve saved her ass several times, and when she dares bulges you remind her of all that you’ve done for her. It’s just who we are ‘HUMANS’ I hope I don’t sound petty!
Whichever way these scenarios play out we have all at some point had expectations off people, every relationship we hold is based on some action or exchange that can be measured by some kind of action. Although, we’re sometimes disillusioned with the word ‘Unconditional love’ asking that people sometimes disregard all other levels we might engage in and accept us even if we default on another level of interaction, well this rarely happens, a lot of us have romanticized that idea. Lol
A one-sided relationship leaves us burnt out, our personal and professional relationship cannot persist if both parties are not bringing something to the table; in the case of a man to woman relationship, it is believed a man is wired to provide for his family and the female is expected to also meet his needs, right? If we are on the same page, the lady in question clearly stated the men were capable of meeting her needs and she in return takes good care of him, except we are capping this discussion in the context of marriage.
However, what I didn’t quite agree on is the part where she said she is a woman and can’t afford the lifestyle she would want. That’s certainly a stereotype I wouldn’t want to play in, as I believe that as a woman you can also work towards achieving your dreams and also work towards being able to afford your lifestyle you desire. Often time we are only too greedy and not ready to cut our coat according to our size. Don’t see the man as a tool to meet your insatiable needs, see his contributions as a plus!
Having said that, transactionality is part of human nature and like someone said all human relationships are conditional and if you want an unconditional love go to the ATM! You can beat it, spit at it, ignore it and when you are ready, it will still give you cash!