Demystifying Relationship myths by Tomi Oni

Demystifying Relationship myths

Growing up in Africa usually means growing up with loads of myths. I will like to say we are practically taken through Myth school if such exists. In most cases we actually grow up accepting or even believing them.
In today’s article we will spend time reviewing and debunking relationship myths we have been fed with over and over again from when we were kids. They are several relationship myths, however in this article we will be focusing on the more popular ones especially among us
Popular Myth 1: Opposite Poles attract.
Myth Meaning: People with very unalike personalities attract each other and will always stick together like magnet does.
FACT: You attract who you are!
The law of attraction when it comes to human beings simply works differently. Human beings are not magnets? I often hear people complaining in relationships on why they ended up with someone so unlike them? You unconsciously went towards the person you really are or will like to be on the INSIDE!
The keys to every successful relationship is to focus on what you have in common (compatibility) not your differences. This is what sustains any relationship beyond the first stage of attraction. If compatibility, that is what you both have in common doesn’t come after attraction, the relationship is already at the beginning of its end.

Popular Myth 2: Having a child will strengthen your relationship or marriage.
A relationship is between two people first.
FACT: Every relationship is about two people first. There are no shortcuts or quick fixes. The strength of that relationship depends on both of you. I have met several couples whose relationship is stronger because they can’t have a child. While some other relationships scatter as soon as the baby arrives. If the two custodians and pioneers of a relationship aren’t rock solid or making efforts in the relationship, the third or fourth or fifth person won’t strengthen it either.

Popular Myth 3: Love is a feeling.

Loving someone isn’t a feeling, if it were a feeling it won’t die so fast!
FACT: Love is a DECISION. If what you have is a feeling no wonder why today you’re cold, tomorrow, you are hot day after it freezing?

Those are feelings and feelings keep changing. If however you realize that love is a DECISION you will enjoy a more blissful life.

Your siblings you may not feel like loving but you decide to love them. A friend you loved before betrayed you and you decide to stay away from them. Please note the playing out of decisions made. If you “FALL IN LOVE” you will most likely soon fall out of it.

Popular Myth 4: The opposite of LOVE IS HATE.
FACT: The opposite of love isn’t hate, it is indifference. When there is nothing. As long as you have some form of emotional investment and or commitment which as implied above was your decision, you are still very much involved in that relationship.
You want to be free of a relationship. Decide to be INDIFFERENT!
The way God made us Humans is so amazing. We have will power and the ability to decide to choose. Make that decision you have been running from. Commit or end it. The choice is yours. That’s the “ugly truth”.
Written by Tomi Oni

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