The lies they told you about a woman’s sexuality and why men cheat.

I once had a chat with a man in his 50s on why men cheat and I realized how women are viewed within the confines of a marital engagement.

From my conversation with him, a woman shouldn’t concern herself with what a man does as long as he comes back home and he doesn’t falter in his responsibilities. He believes that a man has a shorter life span than a woman and at the end of the day she gets to enjoy everything he has labored for.

According to him, his wife is his life and the only reason why he works so hard so he sees no reason as to why she should be bothered or concern herself with what he does behind the doors.

So I asked if your wife cheats would you forgive her?

He exclaimed ‘NO’ I was shocked at that point I couldn’t listen or stomach everything he’d said; I was struggling for the right words…

He went ahead to say my wife can never cheat on me. She is a good woman…

In other words, a good woman is one that can be disrespected several times, that can take it all, pray for her husband even when he’s being a dick head and her reward is the inheritance of the man and I guess in heaven.

All I saw was a narcissist married to a doormat, the same thing I figured from Derrick Jackson’s cheating scandal.

This is the mindset that fuels irresponsibility and lack of accountability in a man.

My problem isn’t with a man cheating but the ‘Why’ I believe we are all susceptible to fall at some point which is forgivable but the premise as to which this holds especially from the perspective of a man is heavily flawed.

Women may be more sexually omnivorous than men; Daniel Bergner, a journalist and contributing editor to the New York Times Magazine, in his book, which chronicles his “adventures in the science of female desire,” has made quite a splash for apparently exploding the myth that female sexual desire is any less ravenous than male sexual desire. The book, What Do Women Want, is based on a 2009 article, which received a lot of buzz for detailing, among other things, that women get turned on when they watch monkeys having sex and gay men having sex, a pattern of arousal not seen in otherwise lusty heterosexual men.

That women can be turned on by such a variety of sexual scenes indicates, Bergner argues, how truly libidinous they are. This apparently puts the lie to our socially manufactured assumption that women are inherently more sexually restrained than men–and therefore better suited to monogamy.

Detailing the results of a study about sexual arousal, Bergner says: “No matter what their self-proclaimed sexual orientation, [women] showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women and women with men. They responded objectively much more to the exercising woman than to the strolling man, and their blood flow rose quickly–and markedly, though to a lesser degree than during all the human scenes except the footage of the ambling, strapping man–as they watched the apes.”

He further wrote:

Women are supposed to be the standard’s more natural allies, caretakers, defenders, their sexual beings more suited, biologically, to faithfulness. We hold tight to this fairy tale. We hold on with the help of evolutionary psychology, a discipline whose central sexual theory comparing women and men–a theory that is thinly supported–permeates our consciousness and calms our fears.

Bergner thinks that monogamy is society’s way of constraining female sexuality. He implies that this constraint is unjust and prudish.

Excerpts from the

Half the time the woman restrains herself because she has been taught that it is not in her place to cheat! Another case of ‘Why’ take out the ‘Why’ and a woman can be as promiscuous as a man.

Not until the premise on which the ideology of a man cheating is fixed nothing will change. And that’s why you must know how your man thinks and views issues such as cheating before making a marital commitment.

Also, it is important that we come to the realization that anyone is susceptible to cheating, either male or female, and that the fairytale of a woman’s sexuality could be a façade.

A lot of relearning and unlearning has to be done because today’s women are not reliant on a man’s inheritance or goodwill to be happy or successful and she is also constantly in pursuit of her orgasms.

1 Comment
  1. Well I would like to disabuse the notion that only men cheat. As a matter of fact women cheat just as much. The first question is who are these men cheating with? Of course women and if a married man in two years sleeps with eight different women, then do the maths. That’s 1:8

    I would agree that cheating men have more sexual partners but I believe women also cheat as many times but maybe not with as much people

    The reasons for men and women cheating aren’t too far apart but in a world where people are likely to cheat than not, I think it’s better to remain single, have kids by mutual consent and take responsibility for them

    This is just my assessment

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